Are we shaped more by our experiences, or by who we are from the beginning? I believe the answer is a combination of both.
Each of us is created with a unique nature, personality and purpose. Scripture tells us that God knit us together in the womb. Before we had achieved anything or experienced the wider world, we were already known and loved by Him.
However, we do not grow in isolation. From childhood onwards, we are shaped by our experiences, our families, our friendships and the environments around us. Some influences help us flourish. Others leave wounds, fears or habits that can remain with us for many years.
Growing Like a Tree
I often think of human growth as being like a tree or a garden. A tree begins with its own identity. An olive tree will not grow into an oak. However, the quality of its growth is affected by the soil, the weather, the amount of sunlight and the care it receives.
People are similar. We each begin with gifts, strengths and particular ways of seeing the world. Yet our experiences influence how those gifts develop. Encouragement can help someone grow in confidence, while criticism or rejection may cause them to hide part of themselves.
Over time, weeds can also appear in the garden. These may be unhealthy beliefs, resentment, pride, fear or ways of coping that once protected us but now hold us back.
God’s Pruning in Our Lives
Thankfully, God does not abandon us to whatever has grown unchecked. Jesus speaks about the Father pruning fruitful branches so that they can bear even more fruit.
Pruning is rarely comfortable. It may involve letting go of old habits, facing painful memories or recognising attitudes that no longer serve us. At times, life’s challenges may feel like setbacks. In hindsight, however, they can become moments of transformation.
God’s pruning is not intended to destroy who we are. It helps reveal who we were created to become. He cuts away what is false, damaged or overgrown while strengthening what is good.
Becoming Who We Were Created to Be
We are shaped by our experiences, but we are not permanently defined by them. Our past influences us, yet it does not have to control our future.
Through prayer, reflection, supportive relationships and God’s grace, we can continue to grow. Like a well-tended garden, our lives can become places of beauty, strength and fruitfulness.
Perhaps the real question is not simply whether we are shaped by who we are or by what happens to us. It is whether we are willing to let God shape both into something fruitful.
